Why I want to be a nicer person
What does it mean?
nice - adjective
- giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive.
- (of a person) good-natured; kind.
Yes, I want to be a nicer person.
Not to say I'm not nice, or I'm unkind, quite the opposite - I'd like to think anyway. But just before Christmas last year, something changed. I was no longer happy with myself - I wanted to be nicer.
This is the moment I noticed the switch flip...
--
I was walking to town the day or two before Christmas Eve, getting last minute presents, cards and another pack of gift tags, when I complained of how cold it was to my boyfriend. I'd been walking say, 20 minutes, before I decided I needed to vocalise my dislike for the cold British winters - no, this wasn't the first weather-related complaint of the month - but as I said it, we walked past two homeless men.
They were sat under the shelter of two shops - one man was reading, the other asleep. Both were wrapped in a couple of jackets and a sleeping bag.
I don't know about you, but I've been brought up with the 'ignore them - don't give them too much money or they'll follow you, they'll only go and buy drink or drugs' idea. But this hit home - this was 20 minutes walk from my home and it unsettled me. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt - for having a roof over my head, for complaining about trivial things, like it's too cold outside, when I'll be back home in less than an hour, warm and with a nice cup of tea and freshly cooked meal.
Despite all this, we walked on. We continued with our tasks and working our way through our to-do list. But I couldn't get these two men out of my mind. It was two days before Christmas, it was bitterly cold and they were without a home.
So I said to James that I wanted to give them some money. Turns out he'd been thinking the same thing. I took out £10 and retraced my steps to give them this small token of acknowledgement. One of the men was no longer there, but I tucked the note under his belongings. The other man was still asleep - we tried to wake him, but with no avail, tucked the note inside his pocket.
I cried as we walked away.
--
Now, I'm not saying this for praise. I don't want anyone to give me a pat on the back or tell me what a good person I am for giving them some money. This is just the moment I realised I wanted to do more.
I can't imagine what it must feel like, being ignored day in day out, when all you're asking for is for someone to recognise you as a person. We don't know what these people have been through and yet, for some reason, we choose to pretend they're not there and keep on walking.
It breaks my heart.
I want to give more to charity (and by this I mean more than the odd £1 for a bake sale, £5 charity shop fashion find or my yearly poppy) - whether this is through fundraising, or a more thought-through purchase I don't know, maybe I'll even volunteer somewhere.
I want to give blood. Why I haven't already done this I have no idea - I haven't a fear of needles and I'm pretty certain I have blood to spare. Apparently, per one blood donation, three lives can be saved. Imagine knowing that your donation was the one to save a child, or someone's parent. It's incredible.
As I write this, I've signed up to donate blood and get back on the organ donor list.
I want to talk to more people. I say I speak to most people, and I do, if they are a waitress, a shop assistant or something - you know, where two people have been brought together for some reason. But I want to be confident enough to talk to anyone. Someone who looks like they maybe need a hello from a stranger or a short conversation, who knows, I might be the only person they speak to that day...
I know that one will take some time, the idea of approaching someone I don't know kind of terrifies me, but working in mental health has made me more aware of just how many people are affected. If I can help a person feel better, even just a little, then I've done something worthwhile I think.
It's only a small list I know, but I'm working on it.
nice - adjective
- giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive.
- (of a person) good-natured; kind.
Yes, I want to be a nicer person.
Not to say I'm not nice, or I'm unkind, quite the opposite - I'd like to think anyway. But just before Christmas last year, something changed. I was no longer happy with myself - I wanted to be nicer.
This is the moment I noticed the switch flip...
--
I was walking to town the day or two before Christmas Eve, getting last minute presents, cards and another pack of gift tags, when I complained of how cold it was to my boyfriend. I'd been walking say, 20 minutes, before I decided I needed to vocalise my dislike for the cold British winters - no, this wasn't the first weather-related complaint of the month - but as I said it, we walked past two homeless men.
They were sat under the shelter of two shops - one man was reading, the other asleep. Both were wrapped in a couple of jackets and a sleeping bag.
I don't know about you, but I've been brought up with the 'ignore them - don't give them too much money or they'll follow you, they'll only go and buy drink or drugs' idea. But this hit home - this was 20 minutes walk from my home and it unsettled me. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt - for having a roof over my head, for complaining about trivial things, like it's too cold outside, when I'll be back home in less than an hour, warm and with a nice cup of tea and freshly cooked meal.
Despite all this, we walked on. We continued with our tasks and working our way through our to-do list. But I couldn't get these two men out of my mind. It was two days before Christmas, it was bitterly cold and they were without a home.
So I said to James that I wanted to give them some money. Turns out he'd been thinking the same thing. I took out £10 and retraced my steps to give them this small token of acknowledgement. One of the men was no longer there, but I tucked the note under his belongings. The other man was still asleep - we tried to wake him, but with no avail, tucked the note inside his pocket.
I cried as we walked away.
--
Now, I'm not saying this for praise. I don't want anyone to give me a pat on the back or tell me what a good person I am for giving them some money. This is just the moment I realised I wanted to do more.
I can't imagine what it must feel like, being ignored day in day out, when all you're asking for is for someone to recognise you as a person. We don't know what these people have been through and yet, for some reason, we choose to pretend they're not there and keep on walking.
It breaks my heart.
So, how am I going to be a nicer person?
Like I said, I'm not unkind or mean, I smile at most people I meet - even when they don't give a smile in return - and will have a conversation with almost anyone. It's the extra things - the things that may help a stranger, perhaps save a life.I want to give more to charity (and by this I mean more than the odd £1 for a bake sale, £5 charity shop fashion find or my yearly poppy) - whether this is through fundraising, or a more thought-through purchase I don't know, maybe I'll even volunteer somewhere.
I want to give blood. Why I haven't already done this I have no idea - I haven't a fear of needles and I'm pretty certain I have blood to spare. Apparently, per one blood donation, three lives can be saved. Imagine knowing that your donation was the one to save a child, or someone's parent. It's incredible.
As I write this, I've signed up to donate blood and get back on the organ donor list.
I want to talk to more people. I say I speak to most people, and I do, if they are a waitress, a shop assistant or something - you know, where two people have been brought together for some reason. But I want to be confident enough to talk to anyone. Someone who looks like they maybe need a hello from a stranger or a short conversation, who knows, I might be the only person they speak to that day...
I know that one will take some time, the idea of approaching someone I don't know kind of terrifies me, but working in mental health has made me more aware of just how many people are affected. If I can help a person feel better, even just a little, then I've done something worthwhile I think.
It's only a small list I know, but I'm working on it.
Comments
Post a Comment